No Light
by MiyuTanemura
Summary: Gray's reaction at being alone. Sequel to La Rondine's 'Substitute' one sided Natsu/Gray


Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail or _Substitute_, from which this story is a sequel…

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><p><strong>No light<strong>

_Natsu was right._

Here are some words that nobody would expect to hear from me.

At least I had the good sense of only thinking them.

In the end, things did play out as he said, three weeks ago.

Lucy carried on and formed a team of her own, Erza… well, Erza continued being Erza – nobody can point a thing to her in relation to a mission. As for Natsu… He did what he chose, being with Lisanna.

If they were close before, now one would think that they were joined at the hip – always together. Always expressing joy or amusement or just contentment for basking in each other's presence.

And that leaves… me.

I'm still stuck here – left behind.

Every day, the moment I enter the guild, I'm hit with a cacophony of noises. They are cheerful and every single time I can feel that a tiny piece within chips and falls.

I'm not aware of the meaning of this but, deep inside, I worry.

Of course that outside nobody sees this. I am always sure to paste a neutral look on my face and going through the motions, albeit stiffly, and reacting the way I'm supposed to. Yes, because there are some unfortunate times in which Lucy and Erza have the (bad) idea of having a meal with the whole group.

These moments used to be painful, seeing as Natsu was there, his side nearly glued to Lisanna's as they argue amicably about one thing or another.

This display seemed to hurt me more – before. That gaping wound bared for the world to see, blood seeping sluggishly out of it and there was nothing I could do against. The seal has gone.

All that's left for me now is to pick up the pieces, the same way I would do to a broken ice sculpture, and try to slot them together again. It's no easy task. It's lonely, at first, a cold one. But now… now I'm getting numb. The cold is entering and I welcome it, the same way I did all those years ago when Ur was teaching me.

Ur…

I spend a lot of time thinking about you. And that seems to make the cold more bearable. This isn't all that different from what you taught me, is it? I bet you would be impressed.

These thoughts are what's helping me heal, overcome what I managed to grasp for far too quick instants. It is better that way… I'm still functioning though my aloof and cold attitude is starting to bother some.

Lucy has tried to talk to me, ask me if I was alright – though I don't understand what she means.

Erza was more direct, barking questions and getting frustrated at my answers too. She threw me one of her glares and this must have been the first time that I managed to withstand the full force of it. Though I must admit that I was relieved when the conversation ended, she looked positively murderous.

And what isn't my surprise when Happy landed on my shoulder for scarce moments, two days ago. His tail twitched and curled around the back of my neck and over my right shoulder. Then he left. It was odd, indeed.

I'm coming to the conclusion that everybody all around is mildly insane.

These days it's not uncommon to feel their stares on the back of my head.

I don't care.

'It doesn't matter, in the end,' I think with a shrug.

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><p>As morning comes, another dull day is set in motion. I better get ready, as today I might see if I do something useful. It's been a while since my last mission and the jewels would be welcomed.<p>

I enter my bathroom, heading straight to the sink. I get a glimpse of my reflected counterpart on the mirror as I open the faucet. My eyes rise and I can't help but contemplate the person that is in front of me.

I'm met with skin of an unhealthy white, a disheveled mess of black hair on a face in which the skin is stretched taut over the bone. Overall I look older and underfed but the worst are the eyes that stare back at me. Sunken eyes with deep dark circles underneath and the gelid emptiness…

I react without thinking, hand punching it right in the center and I watch as it shatters beneath my yielding flesh. Some of the glass shards fall on my forearm, leaving curious red patterns behind.

Distracted, I let my hand open and slowly flex it to see the damage. It's nothing much, just scraped (okay and here I concede that it was a little more than a scrape since white could be seen amidst the now overflowing red).

'This should hurt,' I tell myself, belatedly.

Yes, I do know that it should hurt yet I don't feel a thing. Not even these throbbing flares of pain that should be racing through my arm. Mechanically I grab a towel and wrap it around my hand. That's what I should do, right? Trying to stop the bleeding…

I could freeze it! That way the blood would stop for sure and-

Wait. No, I can't use my magic. It has been behaving completely crazy and I'm not too sure if I could make it work and not just… destroy my hand…

I leave that room – finally – and start to head to the door but the moment my hand touches the doorknob I feel a shock. My hand jerks from it. And then I try again. And again. And again.

A shock running through my arm is the response – every single time.

'Okay… what the fuck is this…?' I wonder, sitting on the couch.

"_Can't you see?_" a female voice asks.

"Uh? What the-?" I demand, raising my head before stopping, my mouth falling open at the translucent figure that stands before me.

Before me – the person that stands before me is – no, it can't be – but it is, or it seems to be – but it's impossible that it is-

Ur.

My master.

She's right here, looking at me with that fond look, hands resting on her hips.

"W-what are you doing here! You're- you're…" I stammer and get an amused look from her.

"_Well, I thought it might be the right time to visit, don't you think?_"

"What do you mean with that? I don't. This isn't real – can't be real…" I shake my head stubbornly. My movements are slow as my body seems to, strangely, weight a ton.

"If you say that, it means that something isn't right, don't you think?" the look she gives me is a sad one.

"I… I…" my head falls backwards and I close my mouth, trying to gather some saliva as my mouth feels as dry as a desert. "Something isn't right, is it?"

"_No. And it is all because of your choice._" She says, sadness heavy in her words.

"What choice?"

"_The one to let the ice enter, the darkness fall._"

"Ah! None of that matters. And," I gulp, finally admitting this, "it seems that it never did. It won't matter if the dark takes place." A sudden chill hits me squarely on the chest, taking my breath away. "There won't be anyone to care or to mourn." A piercing cold spreads out within, coming from the tips of my fingers and toes and racing up my arms and legs, leaving numbness behind. "In the end, it didn't matter… I didn't matter…" I manage to grit out. The cold has reached my torso and is crawling up. A snort escapes me before I conclude. "It was… my darkness was to be sealed but instead it has sealed me." A humorless laugh escapes before I hear,

"_I'm sorry…_"

I open my eyes and take her in, one last time before closing them again, a grimace on my face.

"Don't be."

I exhale and feel the deadly clutches of cold finally getting to my core, making the world become pain. And then, I can't stand it anymore.

Darkness envelops me.

_Finally._

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><p><strong>AN:** So, a while ago while I still had my muse I read _Substitute_, by La Rondine and I had the urge to continue and this is the outcome. Yay?

Anyway, this has been sitting on my fanfiction folder for quite a while now and I, impatient person that I am, decided to post this today to show that I'm not dead yet, okay?

RL has been kicking my ass and the Muse vanished but that didn't stop the bunnies from going crazy.

So, I shall give you a small update on my writing status… I _am_ working on a couple of oneshots and on updates of fics such as _IC_ (the end is near, I promise), _Games_ (ditto – I just have my usual trouble with Lucy…), _WH_ (I'm halfway through the second chapter) and _TbC_ (this one is a bit in the backburner because – have you seen what I have to write? The other fics are eating my time away! But I have the chapter's outline down so let's cross our fingers and hope for the best).

As you probably noticed, this small story isn't beta-ed yet.

I have to thank La Rondine for allowing me to write this sequel of sorts for her story. I hope you enjoyed it. =)

As for the readers, I also hope this was an enjoyable read. If you haven't read _Substitute_, please do and leave a comment, I'm sure the author will be extremely happy with what you have to say. And, I know, it's a pity that the story is a bit sad but not everything can be puppies and rainbows, right?

As usual, any feedback is highly appreciated…

And I apologize for my long rant. ^^'


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